Silvia Waller
It’s Never Too Late to Evolve and Grow
Ole Yeller was barking again. Not the canine character from literature, that is, but the man she worked with at UPS, the man who had earned that nickname by yelling out orders to everyone as they came and went. But one day, when he mentioned Easter dress shopping with his daughters and his plans to do up their hair for the occasion, she realized there was a tender heart beneath that gruff exterior. Both were single parents – she had been raising her two boys on her own following her divorce over a decade earlier, and he was raising his two daughters alone after his – and over time their bond grew, leading them to make the hopeful yet complicated decision to blend their families.
As Sylvia says, blending families is not for the faint of heart. Raised by a woman she lovingly refers to as “the black June Cleaver,” Sylvia was used to running her household in a certain way, and that way sometimes came into conflict with the daughters who were now in her care. There were the usual minor squabbles over housework, but there were also bigger ones over personal boundaries: what her stepdaughters’ perceived as nosiness Sylvia saw as involvement, simply part of the job of raising kids and teens; the result was a strain on everyone.
Family matters and the stress that inevitably comes with them had long taken centerstage in Syvlia’s life. Certain other aspects, her health chief among them, had gotten far less attention. The only child of southern African American parents, Sylvia had grown up on food that was “smothered, covered and buttered,” and while delicious, it wasn’t doing her blood pressure any favors. Spurred by the painful loss of her mother in 2005 to cancer as well as bout with Shingles (an illness often brought on by stress) at the relatively young age of 51, Sylvia decided to get serious about her health. She began eating better, cutting sugar and increasing antioxidants; exercising more; and minimizing stress. all of which would be necessary tools as she navigated care for her father, whose body was giving way to diabetes and dementia, both hastened by his reliance on Jack Daniels to cope with the loss of Sylvia’s mother, the love of his life.
As Sylvia watched the father she had known become a different person, she began a simultaneous transformation of herself. She supercharged her fitness goals by competing in a bodybuilding competition. She came close to dropping out when her father died just two weeks before the contest, but ultimately decided that the discipline and focus of competition were what she needed to move through that terrible time. She placed 3rd, qualified for Nationals, and went directly to Red Robin to get the juicy burger and bottomless fries she had been dreaming about for months. She had no interest in continuing to compete, but she had gotten something valuable (beyond killer abs) from the experience; she had learned how to pursue her purpose.
A major part of that purpose became advocacy. She had advocated for her father throughout his decline. After his passing, she shifted her advocacy focus to her community by volunteering as a community educator with the Alzheimer’s Association. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, African Americans are twice as likely as Whites to develop Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, and while the causes are not entirely clear, higher rates of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and hypertension may contribute. As a volunteer educator, Sylvia taught people in her community about the steps they can take to promote wellness and longevity for themselves and their loved ones.
And she wasn’t done evolving yet. Just as she entered her 60s, a friend suggested to Sylvia that she compete in the Mrs. Colorado pageant. At first, the idea seemed crazy, but the more she prayed about it, the more it seemed to fit right into the advocacy work she had already begun. As a child, Sylvia had been teased about the color of her skin, told dark skin wasn’t beautiful, and while her parents assured her that was far from the truth, a piece of those hurtful messages remained. She wanted to do her part to put an end to that negativity, for herself and little girls who looked like her, and to encourage each of them to embrace their own uniqueness. Never one to shy away from steep odds, Sylvia overcame physical injuries and expectations about age and beauty standards to be crowned Mrs. Colorado 2022, making her the first African American to be given that title in 32 years and only the second since the inception of the American Mrs. Pageant system in 1938.
Wearing that crown opened new doors for Syvia, allowing her to go further in her public health advocacy and to continue to challenge and change the beauty standard. Now semi-retired, she teaches self-acceptance and strength through Girl Talk, a mentorship and support program for young women at her church and keeps a toe in the pageant and beauty worlds through mentoring and coaching. Sylvia also works as a licensed freelance esthetician and makeup artist. Beyond that, she remains open to new challenges, always striving to be the best person she can be and to continue reaching for purpose.
It’s Never Too Late to Evolve and Grow. Don’t let age change you, she says, change the way you age!